The end of October is upon us! I mean, seriously, where has the time gone. I still remember episodes I recorded in like May and now in the blink of an eye we are headed toward November! Anywho, You’ve been putting in work all year long, and it honestly feels like it’s taking forever for you to get there, where ever there is for you. You’ve been planning, working, adjusting, waiting, and everything in between, and honestly, you’re kinda tired of it. I mean, when is this going to be over and you can finally say, I made it?! I get it, I feel you, but in today’s episode I want to provide some insight about the importance of embracing all that you are going through on this journey right now, toward success, happiness, and everything that you’re working toward. And so I hope to inspire you to trust the process.
I can hear you saying it now “I just want it to be over!” I’m soooo tired of going through this process. When will I be done and feel like I finally made it? I am so over the everyday grind. I’m sure that most of you who are working on anything important has felt this way a time or two. I remember when I was in college and I was sick and tired of exams, papers, and projects and I just wanted the process to be done! I was over it. And strangely enough…once I graduated, I kinda missed it. Life is funny like that. We often spend so much time rushing and pleading for this phase to be done, that we miss all these gems and jewels that we are supposed to gain during the process.
So guys, I have to be honest, and let you know that the idea of this episode didn’t come from me, it came from a book I just finished reading. It’s the Magnolia Story by Chip and Joanna Gaines. You guys know I love HGTV and their show Fixer Upper is one of my absolute favorites! I’ve been fascinated by their story and the success of their Magnolia brand. They have their own store, their products are in Target, they even have their own market place in the center of their city that attracts thousands of people per day. So I was very interested in their story and decided to read up on it. Here’s a quick tip for you…if you want to know about a person’s process, don’t look online, look in a book. What you see online is not the process. It’s the finished product, it’s the highlights. If you want to learn about the ups and downs, and the nitty gritty of a person’s story, read a book. So that’s what I did and I was amazed at their process. What we see now on tv and social media is them making millions and millions of dollars renovating homes and selling furniture…but their process was filled with debt, barely making ends meet, moving from house to house, and almost losing everything. All while raising four children. The process was not pretty for them…but Joanna said something very important in the book that stuck with me. She said that she realized that she needed to learn how to not just survive the process, but thrive during the process. She didn’t want to live her life saying I’ll be happy once I get “there”…wherever there is. But she had to learn to be happy during the tough learning experiences. And with that attitude change, came a change in their situation.
The book is great and their story is inspiring, but I do know that trying to thrive and enjoy the process isn’t easy. It can be frustrating, draining, and tiring. But I’ve learned from reading AND from personal experience that the process has a purpose! This can be a hard pill to swallow…that allll of this that you’re going through and dealing with…the good, the bad, the ugly…serves a purpose in your life. Normally, all that work helps prepare you for the future. It makes you tougher so that when you need to be strong, you can handle it. When reading Chip and Joanna’s book I learned that before they became these famous stars they spent 10 years in the “process stage.” And that process helped them to perfect their craft. This is the case for most of us. While we are going through the process we are learning so much and gaining so much experience that will be useful in the future. Those first few years on the job or in the business may be tough, but it provides you with valuable experiences that will help you know what to do and what not to do in the future. Or even better, going through all of that stuff can help you be able to handle the explosion of success when it comes. If you were able to thrive when you had limited funds, you should be able to soar when you have unlimited funds. If you were able to thrive when you had to work for low pay and long hours, you will be able to soar when you are getting the pay you deserve and making your own schedule. If you can thrive through the process of working full time while going to school, you’ll be able to kill it when you can focus solely on your career. But first, you have to go through the process!
Let me give you a personal example. Being pregnant. I’m sure you were probably expecting a career example, but not this time. Pregnancy is the perfect example of how the process prepares you for your purpose. Pregnancy is full of ups like feeling the baby kick and hearing their heart beat during an ultrasound. It also has its moments when things can be a little stressful such as the first few weeks when things are still very uncertain and worry can kick in. Then there are moments during pregnancy when you are just over it. From the sleepless nights because of your baby kicking non stop, to the morning sickness, to the back pain, and not being able to put on your shoes. From getting up every couple of hours to pee because the baby is sitting on your bladder. You learn how to thrive during those difficult, yet fulfilling months while your bundle of joy is growing. And then finally…SUCCESS! Your baby is born, and believe it or not, all those month have helped prepare you for what’s to come. Getting up every few hours to feed or change the baby feels pretty familiar to getting up to pee. Your process has prepared you to be able to handle late nights and early mornings. You can handle being uncomfortable, because you experienced it for months before. Now, don’t get me wrong, having a baby is very different from being pregnant with one, but that process really grooms you for the moment when you now have to take care of a child. The process was tough, but it was worth it. When I was pregnant with my son he would wake me up every morning at around 5:00am kicking me, it felt more like he was beating the drums. I think he did it because he was hungry…so after he was born and he would wake up early ready to eat, I was kinda use to it. The process had prepared me.
This is just one of many examples of the importance of the process. Just take a moment and think about all the things you have learned while taking all those classes…working all those hours…and going through even tough times with things such as finances. You have to ask yourself, what did I learn that has helped me handle life better? I’m sure you can think of a lesson nor two that you learned.
Now, if you are currently in the middle of the process, like I am, it can be hard to think positively and thrive through it. So here is a tip to help you out:
Put things into perspective. Sometimes we can be into our process so deeply that we aren’t able to really see what’s happening in our lives. It’s important to come up for air, take a step back, and really see what your life looks like. When we are going through difficult times, the negative is often magnified. But if you take a moment to really look at what is going right in life, if can help you handle things a little better and maybe even thrive when you hone in on those things. This is where gratitude helps. In the book, Joanna said that focusing on her relationship with her kids helped her to thrive during difficult times. She understood that even though life was far from perfect financially and career wise, she still had something to be thankful for and that she was able to provide for her kids, that they were healthy and happy. We have to shift our focus from the negative, the tiresome, the frustrating to the good in life. I get it…during the day, while you’re at work or at school…you are in the grind and you’re not thinking about roses and rainbows. But once you clock out, please don’t forget to take in ALL aspects of life. Remind yourself that this won’t last always. That eventually this season of you life will be gone, and you’ll probably look back at it missing some aspects of it. Don’t rush through the process. Sit down daily or weekly and write down what you are learning about yourself and your craft. Take the time to really grow during this season. If you don’t when the next phase comes you won’t be ready for it. It will be too much to handle. Every successful person will tell you about their process and how ugly or difficult it was. But I also bet they will tell you they are so glad that they went through it and how much it molded them into the person they are today.
So take some time, today, and reflect on your process. Be thankful for it. Hunt the good stuff in it. Kick it’s butt because you know that it is strengthening you for greatness. It’s just like working out. Yall…I feel good b/c I’ve been kickboxing AND lifting weights…yall can’t tell me that I’m not a beast! But the process…it hurts. Right now my arms are so sore but I understand that this is just one aspect of the process and the more I keep going the better things will get.
Listen, we live in a society where it looks like people don’t go through a process. It seems like everything is instant. But that’s just not true. Anything that is here for the long haul will indeed have a process to it. I encourage you to start learning about it. Read more and spend less time watching highlights on social media. Seeing other people’s process can encourage you and even teach you a thing or two.
So I hope that you feel inspired to embrace where you are and to remember the good in it. To know that what you are going through now is preparing you for what’s next. And to take the time to learn from this experience…it will be over before you know it.
So until next time stay encouraged and inspire someone else along the way.