025 Just Say No!

So...let's talk about it.  You know...the "b" word...Boundaries! Setting boundaries is one of the most difficult things for many people to do, especially to those who are close to us.  Too often good people are taken advantage of, ran over, or doing things they really don't want to do because they haven't put the necessary boundaries in place.  So, for this episode I want to inspire you to just say no! 

Boundaries are defined as a line that marks the limit of an area. Far too often we either have no boundaries, don’t know what they are, or constantly let people overstep our boundaries. Now, I get it. Setting boundaries and moreso requiring others to respect them, is not easy. Many feel nervousness and even anxiety at the thought of having to tell someone no. But setting boundaries is not about them, it is about you!

When setting boundaries you have to first know your self and what you want. After you know what you want, you need to put the boundary in place. Lastly, be ready to accept the consequences associated with putting that boundary in place. Boundaries are a necessity. Saying no is a priority. No is a sentence that needs no explanation. So, now what you want, set the boundary and consequence, and watch and see how your life begins to change for the better.

xo-LaShawnda

024 Growing Pains

So, I know you have been working hard, hustling, planning and getting things done. You’ve been doing everything you can to go to the next level mentally, spiritually, physically, and professionally. But I feel it’s important to talk about something that most of us don’t talk about, and that is the fact that changing, leveling up, or growing can SUCK!!

While everyone loves the beauty of the butterfly, we must not forget that hard, uncomfortable, and tough plight the caterpillar had to go through to get there. The same goes for us as we are morphing into our greatness. We have a growing process to go through that can sometimes make you want to give up. So for this episode I want to inspire you to grow through the pain.

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023 I'm Tired! How to Stay Motivated

So, can I take a moment to be transparent? Here’s a newsflash…I’m not perfect! I am a flawed individual who has struggles, just like everyone else. And one thing that I have struggled with recently is being motivated. In previous episodes we’ve talked about setting goals, being consistent and disciplined, and getting things done! But what happens when you’ve been working, grinding, getting things done and you just hit a wall? You don’t have the desire, energy, or will to keep going. If you’ve felt this way or you currently feel this way, don’t fret my pet! It happens to the best of us, but it doesn’t have to stay that way. So for this episode I want to inspire you to stay motivated.

Here are a few simple things I do to help keep me motivated:

1. Pray & read the Bible. One helpful verse (the Bible is full of them) is 1 Corinthians 15:58 “Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.” This verse inspires me to keep going and to know that all the work is WORTH IT!

2. Listen to podcasts: Duh! Of course I love podcasts! My favorite one is my own podcast. Yes, I listen to every episode the day is releases to stay encouraged. Another one of my favorite episodes is the Joel Osteen Podcast. His 30 minute or less episodes always help me to feel better.

3. Inspiring Youtube videos: Now, you have to be careful here. There’s a lot of stuff on youtube and most of it isn’t inspiring, lol. I love to listen to interview by Maya Angelou, Oprah, Michelle Obama, and…Kobe Bryant! I’m always inspired by athlete’s drive and ambition. Watching videos about the Black Mamba’s work ethic always makes me want to get up and go!

4. Lastly, REMEMBER WHY YOU STARTED! This is a must! If nothing else works, reflect on why you are even doing this work in the first place. Remember the impact you want to make in the world. Remember the people you want to help. Remember all the things that matter to you and get up and do it!

Staying motivated can be hard, especially when you’re running on empty. Put a few things in place to give you a little pick-me-up when you need. I hope these tips help you stay motivated while you do your work.

xo-LaShawnda

022 Overcoming Trauma: My Story

Transparency has always been an important part of this podcast, and this year, things will be no different.  I figured it was time for me to share another one of my truths and that is that I've dealt with anxiety, fear, and worry in the past due to trauma.  This is why I have dedicated my purpose of counseling women dealing with these issues.  For this episode I share my story and inspire you to overcome. 

This is an episode that you just have to listen to!

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021 Don't Bring It With You

It is officially 2019 and we are now in the first full week of the year! I am beyond excited for what’s in store for this year, and what is in store for you as well! 2019 is going to be amazing for us…but in order to do all of this amazingness, we have to leave some things behind us. We have to leave some stuff that hinders us back in 2018. So for this post, I want to inspire you to don’t bring it with you!

Though 2018 is just a memory now, I believe that one of the best ways to set yourself up for success is to evaluate what you’ve done right and wrong in the past. From that reflection you’re probably notice that there are a few habits, beliefs, thoughts, behavior, and feelings you need to leave behind. I’m going to bring you four things that we are going to leave in 2019 and not bring with us into this year.

1. Unforgiveness. We are not bringing unforgiveness and bitterness with us into 2019. I first want you to realize that forgiveness is a choice and it’s one that you make for the betterment of yourself and not the person who hurt you. No matter the offense, forgiveness is necessary in order to move forward and fulfill your purpose. Let’s replace unforgiveness with grace toward yourself and others.

2. Comparison & Jealousy. We are not bringing comparison and jealousy into 2019 with us. Comparison kills! It kills your confidence that says you are enough! It causes you to believe that you need to change or catch up because you are somehow behind your peers. Comparison often leads to jealousy and makes it difficult to focus on your mission. We have to become like horses and put the blinders on and focus on ourselves. The only person you should be comparing yourself to is the person you were yesterday.

3. Inconsistency. We will not being inconsistency into 2019 with us. Ask me to show you a successful person and I’ll show you a consistent person! Consistency isn’t easy, but it’s essential for becoming successful and reaching the top. This year we will commit to being disciplines to our purpose and remain consistent long enough to reach our goals.

4. Self-Doubt. We will not being self-doubt into 2019 with us. This year we will not speak the same negative, fearful things we spoke last year. Instead we will speak those things that are not as though they were and declare victory over doubt. Don’t let fear keep us from perusing our dreams. And don’t let self-doubt make you feel like an imposter. If you need help with this, seek professional help from a counselor.

I truly believe that 2019 is going to be the best year yet, and I you should too. I hope that you feel inspired to not bring those things holding you back with you into this new year. To focus on doing things that will make you better every day. And to always believe that your best days are in front of you.

xo-LaShawnda

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020 Be Fearless!

Happy New Year Inspiring Women!! We are on the eve of a new year and there isn’t much that more exciting as feeling like you’re about to get a fresh start in life. For many of us a new year represents new beginnings, now opportunities, and new goals. In preparing for this new year I couldn’t help but reflect on 2018 and all that it brought, especially January 1, 2018. It was a day that changed my life. It was a day that I did exactly what I want to inspire you to do and that is to Be Fearless!

On January 1, 2018 I launched my business, McLaurin Mental Wellness, PLLC. I was scared out of my mind to push the button to launch, but after saying my 1,000th prayer, I did it! Scared as I was, I was still fearless! See, fearless doesn’t mean you have NO FEAR. Fearless means that you have less fear than you have courage, less fear than you have confidence, and less fear than you have faith.

So how do you become fearless? Well, it just takes saying yes! One decision at a time. Saying “I will” instead of “I can’t.” Choosing to be fearless and launching this business and later this podcast changed my life for the better. How would your life changed if you decided to be fearless? Give it a try this year!

xo-LaShawnda

Resources: McLaurin Mental Wellness, PLLC: https://www.mclaurinmentalwellness.com/

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019 The Greatest Gift

Christmas is tomorrow and I hope that you are just as excited as I am!! My family and I are getting geared up to do our favorite Christmas traditions and while you’re doing all of your family traditions and giving gifts I want you to keep something in mind. Keep in mind the real reason for this holiday and while you’re giving gifts I want to inspire you to give the greatest gift, which is love.

1 Corinthians 13:13 says “And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.” The whole purpose of this holiday is to celebrate Jesus’ birth and the sacrifice God made by giving his son. This was the ultimate show of love. So what about you? How are you showing love this holiday? Let’s discuss how to show love to our kids, spouse, our selves, and to God himself.

The kids: While toys and new sneakers may be all your child wants for Christmas, the greatest gift you can actually give them is your TIME. Giving your child your undivided attention, whether they want it or not is priceless! Parenting takes time and sacrifice. What are you willing to sacrifice in order to spend more time with your children. This is a gift that helps your children feel loved, provides an opportunity for you to teach them, and also provides an opportunity for you to learn what’s really going on with them.

Your spouse: Aside from loving them in their love language (if you’re married and haven’t read The Five Love Languages do it now) KINDNESS is the greatest way to show love toward your spouse. Treating your spouse with kindness encompasses a lot of things. If you look up the definition of kindness you’ll find the words: considerate, affection, concern, care, helpful, unselfish, compassion, respect, and so on! Showing kindness can take your relationship from good to great.

Yourself: How can you show love to yourself this holiday season? Two words: SELF-CARE. The first way I recommend you care for yourself is mentally. Give yourself the gift of a listening ear through therapy. I consider myself to be a professional listener (to see how I can listen to you click here ) and I know the power of a listening ear. When is the last time you have a conversation with someone and actually felt heard? They didn’t take the conversation and make it about them? It’s probably been a while. The gift of listening spins off into the gifts of self-worth, significance, and personal satisfaction. This is a gift that you need!

God: Give God a gift? Seriously? YES! The greatest gift you can give God is your life! Give Him your love, your spouse, your children, your career, your hobbies, your time! Make Him the center of it all and seek Him first. This is all he wants from you.

So I hope that you feel inspired to give gifts that truly matter this holiday season; especially the greatest gift, LOVE.

xo-LaShawnda

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018 Know Who You Are!

As 2018 comes to a close I’ sure you are probably making your goals list for next year and evaluating your successes and perceived failures from this year. While your preparing to take over 2019 I want to address something that, at times, stops us in our tracks, and that is the Imposter Syndrome. You know that feeling of being inadequate, that feeling of “I don’t deserve to be here”, that thought of “I’m a fraud and not as good as they think.” Those thoughts and feelings of being an imposter can make us feel undeserving and insecure, but no more! For this episode I want to inspire you to know who you are!

So what exactly is imposter syndrome? It is defined by wikipedia as a “psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a persistent internationalized fear of being exposed as a “fraud”.” Remember that time you were in a room with those amazing women and you felt like you were there because of luck and like you didn’t belong, yep, that was probably imposter syndrome.

Here are a few tips to help you overcome imposter syndrome:

1. Accept your success! It’s time for you to realize that none of where you are is luck. It was hard work, dedication, late nights, and early mornings.

2. Stop comparing. Comparison is a trip that will cause you to fall into a pit of self-doubt, low-self-esteem, jealousy, and envy. Do not let comparison steal your joy and make you feel insufficient.

3. Keep a list of your success. Journaling and writing down your successes is a great way to remind yourself of just how great you are!

4. Be ok with not knowing. Don’t let being wrong and not knowing something make you feel like you’re not the real deal. Even the experts don’t know it all. Don’t let your ego drive your thoughts and make you believe that not knowing is a sign of incompetence.

5. Know who you are! How do you know who you are as a child of God? Read God’s word…he tells you exactly who he has created you to be! Scriptures such as:

   Jeremiah 1:5

   2 Corinthians 3:5

   Ephesiand 2:10

   1 Peter 2:9

   2 Timothy 1:7

Accepting your success, not comparing, keeping a list of accomplishments, being ok with not knowing, and remembering god’s word can help you go from feeling like an imposter to knowing all things, even your things, are possible. xo-LaShawnda

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017 Celebrate Life

The holidays are among us and this month I want to inspire you in a different aspect of it. Let’s be honest, the holidays can be hard. this season isn’t a joyous time for everyone and it leaves some of us with mixed feelings of joy and sadness. One of the main culprits of this sadness is grief or missing a loved one. For this episode I want to inspire you to celebrate the lives of those you have lost.

Here are a few tips to help you handle the grief you may be feeling this holiday season.

1. Be open to your feelings. It is important that you are open and honest about how you are feeling and not repress your emotions. There are a range of emotions one may feel and if they are too intense, therapy may be needed. If they are manageable be sure to express yourself. Here’s a video by Dr. Tony Evans and Priscilla Shirer that discusses grief from a spiritual perspective that I have found to be extremely helpful. https://youtu.be/Y9JBd0xqBGQ

2. Surround yourself with people you love. Being surrounded by family and friends can make a big difference in your mood. You must fight the urge to retreat and be alone. Be sure not to be around those who annoy you, but those who will be supportive in your process.

3. Find ways to celebrate your loved one’s memory. This is the game changer…or the grief changer! Finding a way to celebrate your loved one’s life is a way of remembering the wonderful times you shared with them. You can celebrate in a number of ways…figuring out the best course of action is up to you.

4. Create new traditions. Sometimes the hardest part about the holidays is that things just aren’t the same. Making new traditions switches things up and helps you move forward, while still remembering what’s important.

5. Do something kind for others. Doing things for others evokes a feeling of gratitude which then effects your attitude. This also takes your mental focus off of you and your hurt and places your care on others. Volunteering, giving, helping…it’s up to you to figure out how to give, but it will be worth it.

So I hope that you feel inspired to celebrate the life of those who have gone on before us; to spend time and cherish those who we have here with us; and to always remember you are not alone on this journey of healing. xo-LaShawnda

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016 Finish Strong

Happy December!!! My favorite time of year is here and 2018 is coming to a close. Boy, what a year filled with ups and down it has been! I know, in a few weeks when January rolls around everyone will be so excited to start anew, but I want to inspire you to finish this year STRONG!

It’s not how you start, but how you finish. I’m sure you’ve heard this saying plenty of times, but IT’S TRUE! Starting is the easy part. Sustaining and finishing is where the real work is. Put in the effort to make sure that you finish strong this year. Look back over this year and see what areas you still need to work on. Work on them now. Don’t wait until next year.

I hope that you take these last 20something days to finish strong, to work smarter, and to go harder. xo-LaShawnda

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