So, if you’ve been living long enough, you now know that life happens in ebbs and flows. We can have some really high highs and, unfortunately, we can have some really low lows. On this podcast we talk a lot about positivity and gratitude, but believe me, I’m not oblivious to the fact that sometimes, life is just hard. Sometimes things happen or situations occur, that cause people to feel hurt, defeated, sad, angry, afraid, and everything in between. So in today’s episode we are going to talk about how to handle these hard times. I’m going to give you a few tips on how to manage these moments in a way that you come out better on the other side and so I hope to inspire you to handle your feelings.
Guys! Let me start by saying I hope you all had a wonderful thanksgiving and that you’re ready to have a great December. I’m just baffled that we are already at the end of another year. I feel like time is going to the same place that socks go when you put them in the dryer, lol. So, I had a wonderful Thanksgiving week. It wasn’t perfect as my son caught the flu, but it was still a great time with my loves. Now while I was surrounded by all this love and laughter and FOOD (ya girl threw down in the kitchen and so did my husband…that friend turkey!), I was thinking about life. And how one week things can be going amazing, and then the next week, bam! Life throws you a curve ball that you weren’t expecting. I think it’s important on this podcast that we talk about all facets of life and as much as I encourage yall to think positively, and to look on the bright side, and to trust God…I have to be just as blunt about the fact that sometimes, life is hard and as much as you may be thinking positively, there are times when it doesn’t feel like that’s enough. There are times when what’s going on is so much it’s hard to even process what to do in order to be functional and to especially learn and grow from these situations. Yall I’m not old, but I’ve lived long enough to know that life isn’t a bed of roses. It has plenty of thorns scattered throughout that will scrape and cut and bruise us, and it’s up to us to learn how to heal from it.
So lets talk about what to do when you are going through some hard times and it feels like you’re walking through a patch of thorns.
The first thing that I want you to do when you’re facing difficulties is to acknowledge your feelings! One of the biggest mistakes you can make when you are going through stuff is to act like you’re not going through anything. Now don’t get this confused with when I say things like the struggle isn’t real or to because even then, you are acknowledging that you’re going through something. If you don’t acknowledge then you can’t begin the process. Now when I say acknowledge your feelings I simply mean be honest with yourself. Admit that you’re mad. Admit that you’re sad. Admit that you’re struggling. Admit that you’re hurt. Pretending nothing is wrong doesn’t benefit you at all. Yeah you may look good on the outside, but when you let your feelings go unnoticed, you’re basically rotting on the inside. So if you’re going through something tough right now or if it happens in the future. Admit how you feel. Speak it. Journal about it. Do whatever you need to do to acknowledge your feelings.
The next thing I’m going to recommend that you do is CRY! Ain’t no Mary J. “Not Gon Cry” up in here. Sometimes you need a good cry. I mean a good ugly cry. Face tore up, nose running, makeup smeared…all of that! Lol. Now you may be asking me why? Why should I cry? What benefit is there to me crying? Well I want you to flashback to your childhood. If it was anything like mine you had a moment or two that went like this: You got in trouble about something and you began to cry. And while you’re crying your momma says “stop crying before I give you something to cry about.” Do you remember how crappy it felt to basically had to ignore how you really felt in that moment and hide your emotions. I know I hated that, lol. There is a reason why kids cry naturally. It’s a release. It’s a way to get emotions out. And there of too many of yall walking about with years worth of tears built up inside of you that you just need to release. I’m telling you…especially if you’re sad or mad…a good cry can change things. After the release of all that emotion, it makes room for clarity. It allows you to think clearly now, since you got all those feelings out. I cry at least once a week. And not just when I’m sad. I use it to express happy emotions as well. If you follow me on Instagram, you know that I cried several times on Thanksgiving day because I was just so full with happiness. So, I encourage you to tap into your inner child and have a good cry. I promise you’ll thank me later.
So now that you’ve let it out, you’re ready to make a plan. Sometimes the things that you are going through will require you to do something in order for you to come on the other side of it. I do know that sometimes time and waiting are all you can do in certain situation; but even then you can be working on bettering yourself or your situation. So I recommend that you take a step back and see what needs to be done. Is there something you can do to make this better? Is there something you can do so that you don’t go through this again? Do you need to make some life changes? Evaluate and make a plan so that you can manage what you’re going through AND ensure that your future is better because of the work you’ve done during this situation.
Next, I recommend that you speak positively over your situation. Now yall should of know that I wouldn’t do an episode about “the struggle” and not mention the power of your thoughts and words. When you’re going through, what you say, is going to matter. What you are telling yourself is so important! You have to make sure that you aren’t repeating negative, sad, hopeless things to yourself over and over because it makes it harder to get through. Speaking negatively is like walking through a patch of thorns and then you take some of those thorns and intentionally continue cutting yourself with them. When you speak positively you are trying to heal the wounds that life has given you. You don’t want to do things that hinder your progress so make sure that you are saying the things that you need to hear to get you through.
My last tip to help you manage hard times is to talk to someone. Sometimes we can’t do it alone. And sometimes it takes someone else to help us see different perspectives of our situation. So after you acknowledge how you feel, then have yourself a good cry, now you can talk to someone you trust. Whether that be a loved one or a friend you trust. You can also take things a step further and talk to a counselor who can help you do it all. I help my clients acknowledge their feelings, I support them as they cry, and I help them make the plans and help them come up with the words to say to think positively during those tough times. Listen, if you’re going through something tough…you need to know that you don’t have to go through it alone. You don’t have to suffer in silence. There are people out there who will support you, whether you know them personally or whether they are a professional. So take advantage of it.
So guys those are my tips to managing the hard times. We all hope and pray that we never go through tough stuff in life, but that’s just not how things work. So knowing this I want you to be prepared and I hope these tips help you to handle your troubles and not let your trouble handle you.
So I hope that you feel inspired to feel all the feelings when you’re going through hard times. To have a good cry every now and then so that you can plan properly. And to talk to someone who can help you be the best version of yourself as you go through difficulties. Life may knock you down sometimes, but remember that you are strong enough to get back up again.
So until next time stay encouraged and inspire someone else along the way.